Friday, December 18, 2009

all i can say is im so disappointed. with myself.

  Monday, December 14, 2009

when the lousy feeling invades, the night becomes lonely.

i dont want to tear but swallowing tears is no easy feat.
it's dangerous to indulge cos i nearly forgot the lousy feeling.
and i'll lose the habit of cultivating the habit of thinking thrice b4 i say anything

im not afraid to lose anything. im afraid when i've lost
i lack the self-confidence, the confidence to be a gd gf. i doubt im even halfway there
all i hope is for you to know, im trying my best and i wish you understand that sometimes what i said is really 无心but i noe it's not enough to warrant me unguilty.
im such a trouble sometimes

  Saturday, December 12, 2009

im back from another stayover
420am and im not preparing to sleep.
the night's long but im not lonely cos someone's on my mind
i feel i've fallen in love with baby again, in a different way this time
i dont believe in forever. you cant predict anything, especially when love is beyond individual control.
i used to wonder how i would feel if there was a break up
i tot i could take it in my stride and make it clean
but my answer's different now
i doubt i can do it so handsomely
rather, i dont have an answer now bcos i fear the thought of it.
things are smooth-sailing and i wonder if i shld remind myself not to indulge and become addicted to this "happiness"
not that i dont believe in him or myself. forever is some kinda extreme which i'll shun using
i once dislike becoming too dependent and i'll try to avoid that.
perhaps im not losing my independence. instead, i might actually be just entrusting part of me to someone whom i'd like to share

  Sunday, December 06, 2009

im back from stayover :
but there's another one coming up heh
had movie marathon, daily supper..
i got drunk. gosh it sucks totally man.
not very very drunk but i vomitted once and i was very giddy.
well at least i made it home. terrible. made me kinda scared of liquor and oysters for a few days.
i used to like drinking but for now, im neutral..

im getting worried for you twin. i hope ur prob can be solved
come out soon eh !

things happen, which awaken me to the fact that im no different from the ppl whom i tagged as "happy" for most of the time and thus, think less.
maturity is a heavy word, and it's the word which i think i've always misunderstood. independence is another word which now i think i've defined it wrongly.
nah, we're not genetically identical but paradoxically,we are born of the same social callus which may make us susceptible to the same effects.
i feel im getting dumber by the day, or perhaps im just ____(stubborn) enough to be convinced only by now that im naive.
i really am i guess. too naive to survive in this society, barely naive enough to live my own lala land. i dont know. mayb i just wish things would go simple. i dont understand why ppl complicate matters. i dont understand the need for twists and turns. i dont like to make guesses or inferences. i like being straightforward and simple. dont tell me "you are suppose to know". cut the crap and tell me what you want me to know.
no. things dont get that simple in reality. i realise as what i want, i become simple but life's not only abt i, me or myself. and then i end up being the simple-minded (aka naive) one..
i dunno how to continue

  Wednesday, December 02, 2009

ahh hello twin haha
since you've dedicated an exclusive post for me i shall reciprocate (:
i oso think you are a god-sent twin for me (:
i hope you will be happy too. i'll definitely help you convince ur mum k. dont worry abt fri
both of us receive everlasting happiness :D
heh anyway once a twin forever a twin :)
see you soon man. we still got lots to do 8D

  Monday, November 30, 2009

celebrated wang da ma's bdae with 4e peeps.
it really feels nice to meet them again and their craps haha
you noe they are the ones who are at the same freq as you
it's all 2years of classmates.
but the 2years with s03 ends on the day of graduation

watched new moon ^^
quite nice. everyday's such a happy day with baby (:
i have no habit of pening down wat happened daily cos i know today will always be better than yesterday
and for all i care, i will rmb wat happened (:
heh
gna stay at home and mug my bio p1
i cant wait for thurs !!
my 4days of chalet at a non-chalet place 8D

  Tuesday, November 24, 2009

had fun yest with twin <3 (:
i doubt we can one day stop being so random lol
it's been so long since i've slept without waking up for the whole night !

i hope she is fine. i hope you are fine. i hope ur family is fine.

Amen